I recently had the wonderful opportunity to perform in the concert version of Merrily We Roll Along with Toronto Musical Concerts. Thank you to Christopher Wilson and Scott Christian for bringing me on the adventure. This is a Sondheim show not done often, and a lot of people don’t really know the show. It travels back in time following the three main characters showing how they got to where they are. How they started so hopeful and full of dreams and how they end up so…different. I played K.T. a television host/reporter who interviews the team of songwriters in the show right at the breaking point, as well as singing in the ensemble numbers throughout.
Merrily We Roll Along was originally a flop on broadway. Watch the documentary on Netflix (The Best Worst Thing That Ever Could Have Happened). Please watch it. For anyone who wants to see just how one moment in time can change a person, how one direction down a path can lead you to where you never expected, and to see how the original cast members look back on their lives since this show. Watch it. I really started to think about where I was. I am older, (I’m not old) but I feel like I’m older starting in this business and there was a time when I would constantly say, “why didn’t I do that?”, or “if only this happened”, or “why did this happen?” But after watching the documentary and being a part of the show I’m looking back a little differently.
Now the thing that struck me about the show were some of the messages in the lyrics that really hit home. One of the lyrics I sang was “roads may wind and you may find what you’ve left behind is your dream.”
There it was. Did I leave my dream behind? I didn’t start when I was a child, or a teen, or even out of university. But as soon as I did start on my chosen path, my calling as it were, I was led down a road where I had to be there for a sick and dying father, then I chose to marry my love and I chose to work while he built his business, and then the path continued leading me to be there for a sick and dying mother, and for my child who is only 4 1/2. The thing is through all of this the dream never died, but if felt lost. I couldn’t find the path I started on, and it always scared me that I may never find it again, and the ‘what if’ of what if it is never meant to happen. But I realized I don’t have to be on the same path I was on back then, I can start on a new path wherever I am now. Instead of looking back and saying why all the time, I can look back and say I have truly been there for the people who matter the most to me. That’s kind of a wonderful thing.
Later in the show I sing things like, “dreams don’t die, so keep an eye on your dream.” “Plenty of roads to try.” and “Never look back.”
And there it was again. A string being plucked on my heart.
I think as humans we often get so discouraged when things don’t go the way we plan, and it’s hard to adjust to the changing path, or the uncertainty, and we lose track of living where we are and for the purpose in the present. We are so worried about the destination. The thing is we never know where we are going to end up. So enjoy the scenery on the way there.
The end of the show, we are now at the beginning where these characters are full of hope. Just because life happens doesn’t mean hope has to die. It doesn’t have to be present only at the beginning, it can be right now. The final song of the show, “It’s our time, breathe it in. Worlds to change and worlds to win. Our dream coming true, me and you pal, me and you.”
The end of the documentary had me in tears. Feeling so many things towards these other actors, not just as actors but as humans who have experienced life. The world of the show I was in had a hold of my heart the entire process, from the first rehearsal tackling the intricate lyrics and rhythms to standing on that stage and living it. I really did just want to breathe it all in. I am so grateful for every opportunity I get to remind me I still have a dream, and that I am still on my path to following it. I haven’t lost sight of it. Merrily We Roll Along just gave me an extra push in the right direction. I think from now on I’ll stop looking back, and just look forward, perhaps try a few new roads and see where it leads me.
